The Future of Food is Here!

Dish by Matt Burger

Dish by Matt Burger

Ladies and Gentlemen!  Foodie Folk of all kinds! One of my favorite foodie trends of 2013 was the low tech of high tech!

The next gen of cooking you have been waiting for is already here!  It’s right below your nose and right inside your kitchen.  We just didn’t know it.

Turns out those robots you have been using for one thing (Dishwasher, Coffee Maker, and now…..Hair Dryer) haven’t been telling you the whole truth.  It appears their off label use is also cooking (It’s just kitchen brands don’t sell things like Glaxosmithkline and friends).  These secret settings have actually been known by special moms, cooks, and crazy people throughout history, but it takes the internet for everyone to find out.

Now that you know them, the sky is the limit!

Someone already cooking in the kitchen? Heat that pizza in the bathroom while freshening up for a night on the town!

About to start a load of dishes?  Make a mason jar meal so that the dishwasher is the only thing empty at the end of that cycle.

Ready for your morning cup-o-joe? Well stuff some other shitty shmo in there after to complete that breakfast of champions.

As much as I mock these new tools of the trade, I admit that the brick technology I have bestowed on all who have had one of our sandwiches comes from this same lineage.  It was my grandmother escaping the Natzi’s and whatnots who learned about this secondary use for bricks and brought it to our country.  Like my dishwasher, I never knew what powers that brick sitting in our pantry really possessed until she passed them onto me.   And I you.  And you to every perfect grilled cheese sandwich you make.

Remember, no soap and poach and soups and hair dyers don’t mix!

Happy New Year,

GCHEEZG – as the plates say.

 

Articles referenced:

NPR – Hair Dryer Cooking: From S’mores To Crispy Duck

NPR – Coffee Maker Cooking

NPR – Dishwasher Cooking: Make Your Dinner While Cleaning The Plates

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One Comment on “The Future of Food is Here!
  1. Great read and funny stuff. I had heard about the dishwasher one but not the other 2. Lord knows what 2014 will bring…..

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